Jersey Shore Anyone?

THE LAKESHORE: By Erin O. and Jill N.
Shamwow as Jwwow, The Frustration as the Situation, Wooki as Snooki, Blackheart as Sammy, Lonnie as Ronnie, Finnie as Vinnie, Johnny D. As Pauly D., Gweniferd as Angelina.

DAY 1: THE HOUSE, INTERIOR
The Frustration is the first to arrive.

The Frustration: Whew. It was a tough sleigh ride up here. …Eh.
The Frustration spends 10 min. Exploring the house, when he chances upon-
The Frustration: Woah! A penguin phone! (The phone quacks)
Someone knocks on the door. The Frustration goes to answer the door.
Wooki: Let us in, bitches!
Shamwow: Woooooo!
Finnie: Eh.
The Frustration: (opens door) What’s up, roomies?
Finnie: Man, it was a long drive, all the way from Gage Street.
Wooki: WHERE SHOULD I PUT MY BAGS???
The Frustration: (to Finnie) Dude, that’s twenty minutes away.
Shamwow: Gage Street, as in, the east end?
Finnie: Why, you got a problem?
Wooki: OMG A PENGUIN PHONE!
Finnie: I should call my mom.
Johnny D: (knocks) I’m having a hair crisis! Unacceptable! Tell me you have Uber-Awesome-Spiky Gel!
Shamwow: Right here! Here you go.
Lonnie: (slides through door to Seinfeld music)Did somebody say hair gel?
The Frustration: SMH©!
Wooki: …WHAT?
The Frustration: Syrup, Molson, Hess!
Finnie: Can’t wait to hit Hess tonight! Partay!
(Door slams open and Gweniferd and Blackheart enter, fighting)
Blackheart: -and, fyi, it’s not technically cheating.
Gweniferd: Yeah, whatever.
Wooki: WHERE DO I PUT MY BAGS?
Johnny D: But I have to work tonight at Dofasco.
Lonnie: Shit man, it’s STELCO. Do you want them to replace you before you get to weld anything?
Shamwow: Hey, I have that shift too.
Finnie: (to himself) I am going to call my mom now. (Picks up penguin phone. It quacks.)
Wooki: WHERE DO I PUT MY STUFF?
Shamwow: Come on, I’ll show you.
(Everyone begins to head to their rooms.)
The Frustration: Welding! Score!
Johnny D: …Don’t you need training?
Lonnie: It’s fiiiiiiiiine.

SCENE END.

DAY 5: SIZZLE, EXTERIOR

Wooki: (Makes the wookie sound)
Shamwow: I know, right?
(Everyone stands outside Sizzle, though Lonnie and Blackheart stand a little ways apart.)
Lonnie: (whispering to Blackheart) …Is Finnie really going to wear that shirt?
Blackheart: Why wouldn’t he?
Lonnie: No self-respecting Guido would wear a shirt with an arrow pointing up that says “the insecure” and an arrow pointing down that says “the reason”.
Finnie: I heard that.
(Lonnie and Blackheart start spontaneously making out. The Frustration stares.)

The Frustration: (talking to video diary) Che. Feel bad for Lonnie. Totally not jealous. (Glares at camera.)

Wooki: (already tipsy) I AM SO READY TO DRINK!
Finnie: Alright! Let’s head in.
(Group enters Sizzle.)
Gweniferd: Hey look! There’s Johnny D. DJ-ing!
Blackheart: Come on, Ferdy, let’s get shots.
Wooki: WOOOOOOO!
(Shamwow, Wooki and Blackheart go to get shots while the others grab a table. As they return, they are bumped by two guys, effectively spilling the shots.)
The Frustration: (shouting) Watch where you’re going, $#*%@)#!
Random Guy 1: Maybe fatty should watch where she’s going!
Wooki: BLACKHEART’S NOT FAT.
(Silence while they stare really obviously at Wooki.)
Finnie: Who do you think you are? …My mother hates juice heads like-
Random Guy 2: Didn’t hate me last night!
Random Guy1: Heyo!
(Finnie lashes out and at one of them while The Frustration takes the other, in defence of his friend. People scream. Bouncers show up to kick all four fighting guys out of the club.)

(Having been kicked out, The Frustration and Finnie sit outside on the sidewalk.)
Finnie: …Wanna play cards?
The Frustration: Sure.
(They start playing cards.)
The Frustration: Damn, I need a couple queens.
Finnie: …What, you and someone else?
The Frustration: Did you just call me-
-Back at the bar…
Gweniferd: Intense! Least we didn’t get kicked out.
Wooki: WORD.
Lonnie: (under his breath) God, this place is such a moral cesspit.
Wooki: WHAT?
Lonnie: What?
Gweniferd: Hey I love this song!
(The remaining house guests in the club proceed to dance. And get wasted. And get wasted some more.)
SCENE END.

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Hahahaha!

Meet your dad, the communist Tom Jones. He has the greatest performance on the internet. I have no idea what he's saying, but it makes me happy anyway.

I am laughing at you. Trolololololololololo! Click on the picture to watch the video, it is the best 3 minutes you will ever spend. I swear that this guys hair alone is more epicer than anything you have ever seen before. But uh, watch it with the sound on anyway. Really, really, really loud. But not while anyone is home.

Random stuff…

I’ve been on the computer for way too long today and because of this have come across my new favorite website, besides this 100,000 digits of pi site, which has made everyone I know hate me so far within about ten minutes.

According to webMD, I might have:

  • Schitzophrenia
  • Depression
  • Medication reaction
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Altitude sickness
  • Rabies
  • Autism
  • Prostate cancer
  • Heat stroke
  • Excessive caffience use
  • Cocaine abuse
  • Bipolar disorder
  • RLS (Restless leg syndrome)
  • Low potassium
  • Night terror

I’m very confused. I just told it my symptoms of anxiety, blackouts, compulsive behaviour, craving alcohol, difficult to wake from sleep, difficulty falling asleep, difficulty learning new things, drowsiness, disorientation, emotional detachment, fear of air, fear of gaining weight, fear of water, fear of fire, fear that a bird is watching you, flashbacks, forgetfulness, nightmares, frightening thoughts, lack of emotion, lack of pleasure, lack of motivation, poor concentration, sadness, slow walking, slow thinking, visible deformity, sensitive to noise, muscle cramps, short arms and legs, and it told me that I could be sick. I don’t understand it, but if I live through this then my dying wish is to watch 3:10 to Yuma just one more time. I love that movie so much! Not just because I like the actors either, because it’s all like, kaboom and pow and s’plosions and westerny. Anyway, I also wish that I could meet Harry Potter and Taylor Lautner and we could all hang out and ride roller coasters and fly and watch 3:10 to Yuma together. But if I get sick enough some charity will come along and grant my wishes, so in a way, thank you webMD. In another way, not so much thank you. But for the Harry Potter/Taylor Lautner/s’plosions part of it, thank you very very much. Also, if I die, I won’t have to get my report card. I hope.

This is cool. And real! So, I guess it’s nerdy but abi told me about it so that makes it cool… right? Uhhh… Anyway. Don’t you love the idea that the sun could have an evil twin with a name like Nemesis? And it even comes around every 26 million years and chucks rocks at the earth! Isn’t that awesome?! Everybody wants an evil twin, right? You can’t say that you’ve never tried to pass off something you’ve done on your evil twin, can you! I really hope that’s not just me. Anyway, another cool science fact from abi is about Fear and Terror, Mars’ moons. They are orbiting so that eventually one will be launched into space and the other will collide with Mars… so awesome, my mind is being blown. I’m making a funny face right now, but you can’t see it. Also, I am drinking orange juice out of a curly straw that I got for easter (it has a bunny on it that’s holding… um… what looks like… could it be?… a beer bottle? Oh my. I need to go re-evaluate my life.)

Next cool thing, I found a new band. They actually aren’t that cool, but I do like some of their music (even though they only have six songs). I just think they’re interesting because they sound like Owl City. It’s pretty neat, check it out:

Last thing, the element song. Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing all day (besides the pi site). Learning it. Memorizing it. Getting 100% in chemistry.

51 things that I discovered and rediscovered this weekend

  1. Chocolate chip cookies are just as satisfying bought from a store
  2. Capes
  3. Sweatpants.
  4. Bike rides are fun.
  5. Homework is not fun.
  6. Up is a good movie.
  7. PEZ candy is yuck but the dispensers make it worth it.
  8. Sleep is not necessary. Ever.
  9. this
  10. Plushenko. Hmmm… I might be reverting.
  11. I am an early bird. Sometimes.
  12. Scam emails are fun.
  13. This video makes me smile.
  14. Toy Story.
  15. My cat is capable of opening my bedroom door, climbing up my bookshelf and pushing everything I own off of the top shelf.
  16. Chairs can be lethal.
  17. My sister is cooler than me. 😦 This makes me very sad.
  18. Capes.
  19. I want to be middle class when I grow up. Really. This would make me happy.
  20. Screnzying is harder than I thought. I’m coming to that point where I can’t figure out what to do with my story…
  21. How to embed links.
  22. Jetpacks!
  23. Diverting!!!! If I had 1million dollars, I would totally go to Japan and learn to be a ninja!!!
  24. Making a list of 51 things is hard. But I like the number 51 too much to leave it at 23.
  25. Ray William Johnson is my ❤
  26. Ugh. I have to get up at 6 am tommorow.
  27. Latin class is most productive when I am asleep.
  28. I hate science. I hate the earth. I hate trees. I hate lamps that are too bright. I hate birds that are loud. I hate learning about the earth and trees.
  29. LiveLavaLive is not funny! Just because he kinda looks like RWJ doesn’t mean that my computer should reccomend it to me every time I go on youtube.
  30. I think I go on youtube too much.
  31. Rediscovered: The Killers
  32. Being mean to people is really fun.
  33. The word “troll”
  34. Sidewalk chalk.
  35. Capes!
  36. Shopping can be fun!
  37. Zelda. How I have lived for this long without it, I do not know.
  38. I can’t afford to buy Zelda 😦
  39. I really really really want a puppy. I will name him Pippin, like from LotR. When he is naughty I will scold him in a french accent and say things like “Pippon! Le fromage les nuits! Le jeu sont bleu! Bageutte!”
  40. I am subconsciously hoping that I failed the OSSLT Literacy test so that I can retake because it was just so fun. No sarcasm. It was like kindergarden – write a paragraph, take a nap, eat, write a paragraph, take a nap and eat again.
  41. Sporks. I love the words, but I actually hate them. With a passion (like that girl and ladybugs). Sporks don’t help anybody! You can’t actually use them. The fork is too short and the spoon has freakin spikes at the end so if you’re challenged like I am, you end up stabbing yourself in the tongue when you try to eat soup.
  42. Capes?
  43. “Yogurt is alive” is a fun fact to use to torture my sister at lunchtime.
  44. I’m doing much better than I thought I was in my ceramics class. Not that that means much because really, who cares about pottery? I don’t need clay to be successfully middle class.
  45. I miss english class enough to consider taking grade 12 english in grade 11, even if I am in a class alone.
  46. Even after 5 years, I am terrified of my elementary school.
  47. Golden oreos are more delicious than chocolate oreos. This makes me feel oreo racist and I cry. Then my parents ask me why I am crying and I laugh.
  48. Whew! Already at 48! Writing 51 things isn’t hard.
  49. Little Lulu does exist! Nobody but me seems to know what this is, but for years I have been trying to prove to people that it exists and I finally succeded 🙂
  50. This is my second year of High School Latin and I have learned absolutely nothing. I can do well in the class, but as far as applying it to life, I am hopeless.
  51. Capes.

Pride :)

So Screnzy has begun and I might be a wee bit busy for the next um… month. I’ll maybe post a few updates if anything of interest happens ie. a breakdown/breakthrough.

Script Frenzy

Thought I had better post some info about this, just for my sake. My blog is becoming overrun with videos so I need this.

Script Frenzy:

– April 1-30

– For anyone in grade 1 to 12 there is a youth version which is the same as the adult one, except you don’t have to write quite as much

– You write a script 50-100 pages

– Remind you of NaNoWriMo? It should.

– It doesn’t matter what it’s about; the site doesn’t read your script. It can be the worst thing ever (which mine probably will be) but the computer doesn’t care.

– Make it a parody, original story, adaptation etc… Whatever you want!

The prize is in the satisfaction of knowing you procrastinated a whole month of doing homework by writing a silly script. Congratulations!

Join here for youth or here if you are a grown up!

Lunch is my favorite too!

Just had to share. So wierd/funny! alm9, I think this is your cousin’s thing – the no pants one.